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Nurturing
by William Cuccia
In the depths of my struggle with depression that lasted about 30 years, my wife and I found an injured hummingbird in the grass. We spent one week providing constant care for this little bird we named Hope, and forged a strong, transformative bond with it before relinquishing it to a conservation expert. This bond with the little creature helped lead me into recovery, teaching what it meant to nurture and be nurtured.
It takes time and patience, but you can teach hummingbirds to land on your finger to feed. That’s right - they will fly to you and feed while perched on your fingers. You can have them eating out of the palm of your hand. Getting these tiny birds to trust you enough to do this and feel safe is a process, though. It takes patience, repetition and nurturing.
Nurture is defined, “To care for and encourage the growth of,” but what does that mean from a practical perspective? How does nurturing others and being nurtured play out on a daily basis? Do we ever get to a point in life where we say I have been nurtured to my fullest and I have no need for it anymore? As a former pastor, I follow religious news and in the past few months I’ve heard of three pastors that have fallen to sexual sin and had their lives destroyed. Do these men no longer need nurturing? On a broader scope, there’s an economic crisis that has cast many people into the throws of uncertainty like never before. The need for a nurturing society is very strong. How can a person make it in life without being cared for and encouraged to grow and learn from what life brings?
Life is about learning how to nurture yourself and find nurturing from others so you can become something great, be at peace with yourself and know that you have given your best when times get tough. You will become great in your relationships with God and others. Yes, you will make mistakes along the way and you will fail yourself and others. What will you do when that happens? Those surrounded by a spirit of being nurtured know that they can make it another day and that there is always another opportunity.
Nurturing is about learning how to help you care for yourself and teach you how to care for and encourage the growth of others along the way. Let me give you an example. My friend Evan shared this experience with me recently. He was pulling into a gas station to fill up his car when someone in another car cut him off, pulled in front of him and took the gas pump that Evan was going to use. That made him angry! On top of that, the offender had the opportunity to pull up to the next pump so Evan could still use the pump he had originally intended to use before this person had cut him off, but he didn’t budge and Evan had to wait, which made him really angry!
Just as Evan rolled down his window to share how angry he was, a hummingbird flew up to his window and hovered there for a moment, made eye contact with Evan and flew away. Evan’s plans were altered by the appearance of that hummingbird. Just a little reminder that it wasn’t worth getting all lathered up and possibly doing something he would regret later.
When Evan shared this with me I was honored to think that my experience had made enough of an impact on him to alter his decision. Sometimes just sharing life’s experiences is enough to care for and encourage others in their time of need. Nurturing can become a way of life – a very good life. I still make mistakes, I still fail myself and others, but I’ve learned what’s important is how I respond when I make those mistakes. That is the importance of this idea called nurturing. Life is too hard to think we can just walk through it alone and be fine. Instead, we need to be nurtured and then learn to nurture others. That makes life worth living, exciting and fulfilling. Simply, it makes us grow. I joke all the time that I don’t know if I’ll ever grow up but I know now that I want to grow and continue to grow. Learning how to nurture and be nurtured helps us grow. Who knows? When you look back five or ten years from now maybe you will have grown up and become someone great who has an impact on the lives of others.copyright © 2012 by William Cuccia
William Cuccia is the author of HOPE, Lessons from a Hummingbird. As a pastor, he ministered in Canada, Japan, Cambodia, The Czech Republic, France and Mexico. Later he became a corporate sales trainer and, presently, he is a chief financial officer for a company in Southern California, where he continues to speak at a number of churches. He is co-founder of Hands Helping Hands, a non-profit corporation that helps support other non-profit organizations. Please visit hopebooktoday.com. Contact Elaine Krackau at elaine@prbythebook.com | 512.733.5145 for more information or to schedule an interview with the author.
